Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ironraven's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
4:30 pm	Facts an facts an tings an tings I DM’ed the first gaming session of what I hope to be many this past Sunday… hopefully we’ll meet every other week or sometimes each week. It’s too bad Nodin couldn’t make it, but his job screwed him over pretty hardcore. He has to work Wed-Sun every week for the next few months… sucks to be him. We butchered turkeys on Monday, 78 birds in all. They were delivered today, and from what I gather, everyone was satisfied. Some of them were pretty big though, about 32 pounds. We tried to get all hens ‘cause they don’t get as huge, but there are always a few toms that get mixed in. Work has been getting a little stressful lately. The boss seems to be tightening his grip again. I wish people would quit taking advantage of the fact that he doesn’t really watch us too closely. Not that he is taking it out on me… he likes me too much. However, he does ask me to spy on my peers which is something that I won’t do. It’s tough sometimes to walk the line between staying on his good side and compromising my morals. He’s also an ass, a sexist, a racist, and a staunch republican who thinks it’s OK for the USA to do whatever it pleases. Grrr. Sometimes it bothers me that Teri and my relationship improves so much when we have sex regularly. I’m not sure why it is, but if a day or two goes by without us having sex, she gets really irritable and difficult to be around. Then, right after, she is the same sweet woman I married 3 months ago. Maybe she thinks I don’t find her attractive anymore, but I don’t think it is a conscious thing at all. It’s not that I don’t like sex or that I don’t want to have it, but we both work so much, sometimes sex just isn’t an option. When either one of us is exhausted after a day’s work, often sex is the last thing we want to do. I am trying so hard to quit smoking… it is by far the most difficult thing I have ever undertaken. I wish that I could just turn off the nicotine addiction switch in my head, but it keeps coming back to me over and over again. One of my friends who was a longtime smoker before he quit put it best I think; “The only way to quit is just to stop doing it.” All it takes is deciding that no matter what you just plain aren’t going to light that cigarette. I haven’t bought a pack for several weeks now, ever since the Ministry concert, but this week has been such a hellish one that I may cave tonight and pick up a pack of Nat Shermans on the way home. All I want is one or two of them. I could leave them in the bar after… these are the things that make it so fucking hard. God damn it all anyway… Current Mood: tired Current Music: Olive, Trickle (Comment on this)
Monday, November 15th, 2004
2:45 pm	Wow... so it's been a long time since I updated this thing. So much has changed too. I am now married, and for the most part loving it. Teri is a great girl, and even though sometimes there are trials I don’t regret taking “the plunge” one bit. Speaking of marriage, Teri and I really need to get to work planning our honeymoon, but I refuse to do it all myself this time... I have enjoyed planning all our other trips (all 2 of them... ooOOoo, I know) but this one is going to be way too much work for one person to handle. That and I want to know if she really wants to go. We have planned on going to New Zealand for an entire month, and it will be a big thing especially for her since she’s going to have to quit her job to go. That is one of the disadvantages of part time work I guess, but maybe this will be incentive for her to get up the courage to find a dream and chase it. I feel like she’s wasting her talents on retail crap so much, and Duluth is such a progressive area that she could put that environmental studies degree to work without too much trouble. She is really smart after all, even if she doesn’t believe it. I really believe that worthwhile work does help to make a person appreciate their own existence. I also bought a new car, which I love. It’s an Acura RSX-S and it’s soo fast, but I want to make it even faster. Unfortunately, it is put away for the winter now, but at least that means I will be able to pull the engine and upgrade the hell out of it without being on foot. I wonder if I have the skill to do what I want to it… I guess we’ll find that out soon enough. I got it cheap ‘cause the tranny is thrashed, but I want to put JDM parts in it to compensate for that. Either just a type-r trans or else an entire K20A engine and tranny. We’ll see how far I get. Well, even though it’s been a long time and there’s so much more to add, I need to get back to work, so I’m signing off for now. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 11th, 2004
2:37 pm	Timely Words "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nighmare." -Japanese proverb Current Mood: cold Current Music: The Sneaker Pimps (Comment on this)
12:13 pm	long time, no time Wow, it’s been a long time since I have had time to update this thing.  When I’m working 60 hr weeks, time becomes a precious commodity… let’s keep this short;   Regan died on my future sister in law’s birthday, best birthday present ever. P.S. all you fuckers sobbing about his death, HE WASN’T A HERO, HE WASN’T A GOOD MAN, HE DIDN’T DEFEAT THE SOVIET UNION!!!   HIS LEGACY IS NUCLEAR PROLIFIERATION, RECORD NUMBERS OF UNEPLOYMENT AND POOR PEOPLE, HORRIBLE ENVIORNMENTAL DEVESTATION, HUGE BUDGET DEFICETS, AND A FORGIN POLICY OF MELAGLOMANIA! Wedding plans going along smoothly, if only Teri would get me her list of addresses so we could send out invitations… that’d be nice.  *sigh* nothing I can do about that though. Teri’s grandma died last week.  She had advanced Alzheimer’s so it wasn’t a big surprise but it was a shock for her to suddenly be dead.  Teri’s mom is having a hard time with it and I’m not so sure her dad is being very supportive… he’s a software engineer and tends to be a little cold.  Teri and I are just glad that her grandmother isn’t suffering any more.  She had not been eating for a week or so and her condition was rapidly declining.  I hope I die in my sleep. I had to call off my Mini building project, it got too out of control and I decided that the damn thing would probably rust out after a couple of Minnesota winters anyway.  Probably for the best, but now I need to find another option.  I’m pondering an Acura RSXs.  It gets pretty fair reviews, and decent gas mileage… I suppose that’s all for now.  Gee, it’s not all that tough to nutshell my life.  I need to get out more, that’s the moral to this pathetic couple of months! Current Mood: blah Current Music: Mudvayne (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
2:34 pm	I want to start building a car... I love the way the old mini's look, but they are hell to maintain and kinda sluggish unless you spend thousands tweaking the engine (which makes them even less reliable). So, I was browsing around 'n stuff on a slow day and ran across some UK sites that were talking about a Vtec conversion and did a little digging. The 40 mpg he claims they get doesn't hurt, especially with gas prices going up... OK, neither does the 5 sec. 0-60! It's like a dream come true, Porsche performance, Honda reliability, Mini looks... Of course it's probably going to take me a year or so to complete the project, so I hope my Civic hangs on that long! If I thought I could get away with it, I would just have him build me one, but $19,000.00 is a little out of my price range. I can do it myself for about $9,000.00, give or take a couple grand. I also e-mailed the dude asking him if I could use the Honda D16Z6 engine which is a single overhead cam vtec so it'd be lighter and has 30 less horsepower so the car would get even better mileage! I have always wanted a high performance car, but couldn't justify it because of the astronomical cost and terrible fuel economy... I hope I can pull this off, it'd be fun (and get better mileage than my motorcycle! How silly!) The site is www.gomini.com if anyone wants more info, and I should give him credit for the pictures too... Current Mood: excited Current Music: VNV Nation (Comment on this)
2:32 pm	Wow, that's a lot of fast food This is amazing, if I ate that much... I wonder what this does to his gas mileage? http://taiwanon.com/notes/2004_05_01_archive.html#108415192310011328 Current Mood: amused Current Music: VNV Nation (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
11:09 am	akdiuthhaidfhijdf OK, so I know it’s been a seriously long time since I updated this thingy… but what can I do, it’s been so fucking busy around here that I hardly have time to eat and sleep! Orlando update: The conference was pretty good, I learned some interesting things and hung out with some cool techies… and got wasted every night. Damn, those IS people know how to party! There was a downside, however… some of the people had serious problems holding their liquor and I had this old lady telling me she wanted to suck my cock and this other woman drunk dialing her 19 year old daughter and having me talk to her. I had no idea what to tell them except for “Hey, I’m engaged and I love the girl… and I’m not too sure about you, (or your daughter…)!” Alcohol does strange things to (some) people. The weather has been so shitty around here lately that it’s starting to piss me off! This whole week looks like it’s going to be nasty! Grrr… just when I start working outside, the weather gets crappy. I want to ride my motorcycle damn it! Oh well, back to work back to work… Just don’t think that I don’t love you guys, I’m swamped! ^__^ Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Prodigy (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
7:47 pm	In ORL Yeah, in Orlando for work... this sucks. I hate being here. I'm drunk though, so that's OK. I need to get laid, but my girl is in MN, so I'm SOL. Oh well, I need sleep. Time to hit the sack. Current Mood: horny Current Music: ... (Comment on this)
Friday, April 30th, 2004
10:51 am	More stolen stuff... Yeah, so I love stealing from my friends, so sue me! :b Thanks again chernabog69 (I still haven't figured out how to link to a user... oh well whatever.) You Are Flirt-able! You are the best of both worlds - sexy and friendly, but not in either box. Your charm is addicting, and you always have plenty of people flirting with you. And if you want to turn things up, that's always an option for you. You have plenty of options - without being the person everyone has already done :-) Are You F***able? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 29th, 2004
4:35 pm	Wow, it’s been crazy busy around here the last few days… I’ve been moving and that’s hard enough, but also Teri has wanted to do her fair share of the work. That’s a welcome change from some of the girls I’ve been with, but sometimes she takes it to an extreme that’s hard to deal with. She actually got mad at me for ‘trying to do too much’ but the thing is that there’s only so much time we have until we need to be moved out… one day and 7 hours to be exact. It’s too bad too, since she has a habit of procrastination that is on a level with mine, and that’s saying a lot! Also, this Sunday I leave for Orlando for work for 3 days so I would really like to be sure things are squared away with the new place before then. Well, that and I have been getting my tattoo touched up so there’s all the fun that goes along with that. The guy who is doing it is really taking good care of me though, lots of excellent energy and all that. It didn’t hurt nearly as much, even when he was going over the spine bits like he was today. And it looks awesome! I can’t wait to show it off when it’s all done. Hopefully he’ll be calling me up this afternoon to get the rest of it finished off. He had another client come in who needed some work done, and I guess she’s a real pain in the ass so the less he sees her the better. I had had enough pain for the time being anyway so that was fine by me. The left side is the last thing to do now, so it’s almost done but that isn’t going to hurt hardly at all since it’s not right on the bone. Damn though... need caffiene. I had some chai with lunch today and got a super big caffiene buzz... which I'm coming down hard off of right now. I love Indian food though... Mmmmm.... Current Mood: tired Current Music: Carlos Santana (Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
11:40 am	What's your opinion on... I stole this from chernabog69... what the hell, she stole it from someone else anyway :b Yeah, so these things are sometimes lame, but so what? It might be cool to see how (or if) my opinions on things change over time... ... abortion? Who am I to tell a woman what she can do with her body? ... the death penalty? Our “Justice” system is way too fucked up for me to believe that the death penalty is a good idea. I do think that prisons should be better regulated though ... prostitution? I don’t like the idea of sex as a commodity, or of people as a commodity. The Beatles are right, money can’t buy you love. However, I believe a person’s body is theirs to do what they want with, and if it isn’t legalized and regulated, many more people will suffer than if it was illegal. ... alcohol? Yum. Anything can be misused though… ... marijuana? I can’t believe that cigarettes and alcohol are legal while marijuana is illegal. ... other drugs? Other drugs are nothing but trouble. Really, I have friends who have completely messed up their lives. Bad news. ... same-sex marriage? Anyone who is opposed to same-sex marriage shouldn’t be allowed to be married. I despise close-minded people. For any bible-thumpers out there THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN CENTURIES AGO BY MEN!!! So quit taking everything in it literally. ... illegal immigrants? Everyone who isn’t a Native American is the product of immigration. Illegal shmillegal. I’m an illegal immigrant, my ancestors certainly didn’t have anyone’s permission! ... smoking? As a person struggling to quit, cigarettes are the devil. Nicotine is the most formidable opponent I have encountered… and it doesn’t fight fair. Seriously, nicotine is more addictive than cocaine and cigarettes have worse toxins in them than most street drugs. Explain to me why they are legal again? ... drunk driving? Bad news. Nobody wins. ... cloning? Horrible horrible bad idea. Humans are way to complex for us to understand the possible implications of such an action. Then there’s the whole idea of a cloned being and how society would look at them. Are they property? Are they real? Would too many stupid people claim they didn’t have a soul? Bad news. ... racism? Any country whose founding fathers were racists is bound to be full of them isn’t it? I am not a racist or at least I try not to be. After all, I’m one of those races too! ... premarital sex? I am still having lots of premarital sex. Not only is sex fun, it is also a very important test of compatibility between two people. I did wait until I was 1). Really sure I loved the person 2). In a seriously committed relationship 3). In a financial position where I would be able to support a child if an accident happened 4). I felt emotionally ready. Even so, the woman who I gave my virginity to broke my heart… live and learn I guess… …religion? Believe what you want to believe, as long as your right to believe doesn’t infringe on anyone else right not to. ... the war in Iraq? Bush has been planning this since before 9/11. I don’t understand how people could be so outraged by someone’s private life (Clinton getting a blowjob…) and not be upset by Bush’s outright lies that have killed hundreds of American citizens and thousands of innocent (and probably some guilty Iraqis). It has never been about anything other than oil and world domination. ... Bush? Despicable, lying, totalitarian, Constitutional right stealing, environment destroying, insane? (very likely), megalomaniac who wasn’t even properly elected president. ... downloading music? FUCK THE RIAA ... the legal drinking age? When something isn’t denied people, it looses its luster. There is no drinking age in Italy, and there are fewer teen alcohol problems. Not that we could do that in this country, but those who want to get alcohol can usually get it, so what’s the big deal? If parents are attentive, there won’t be problems. It’s that simple. ... porn? Yay! Porn!!! Porn is fun, just please don’t involve animals or under age people. That’s just not cool guys. ... suicide? Life is so precious; I can’t ever imagine a situation where I would kill myself… ok that’s not entirely true. If I was terminally ill and had no chance of recovery and was in constant pain, or paralyzed from the neck down, or in a vegetative state, hand me that loaded shotgun! Current Mood: curious Current Music: KMFDM (Comment on this)
Friday, April 23rd, 2004
5:14 pm	i love music if you're frightened of dyin' and you're holdin' on, you see devils terin' your life away. if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. - vnv nation, forsaken. ...wow... Current Mood: mellow Current Music: ... guess (Comment on this)
3:49 pm	How's the weather? Yeehaaa!!! It’s so fucking nice outside, and it’s about freeking time too! I got to ride my cycle again today, even though it was only for a short time on my lunch break it really made my day. I have to move this weekend… booo!!!! I hate moving, not just because it’s a pain in the ass, but also because it reminds me how much crap I have. I always feel like I have the too much stuff thing under control until I have to move it all to a new place. I used to be able to fit everything I owned, books, stereo equipment, and bed included into my Ford escort wagon (yeah, I know… what a pimpin’ ride…). It was nice to know that I could move anywhere at any time and take it all with me. A few years later, and I’d be lucky to fit it all into a cargo van… OK, 3 cargo vans. Where does it all come from? Oh well, if I can keep it this small after I own a house I’ll be doing pretty good. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen though. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Led Zeppelin (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
4:43 pm	OK Cupid sez: Compared to males his age: He is more indie than most. He is more extroverted than most. He is less old-fashioned than most. He is more artsy than most. He is more arrogant than most. He is more emotional than most. He is less moral than most. So, I'm an indie, extroverted, emotional, artsy, arrogant, immoral, non-old fashioned person eh? Curious. Current Mood: amused Current Music: VNV Nation (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
6:39 pm	I finally went in to get my tattoo touched up today… the artist Dave, who did it was really pissed off at the guy who first put it on. “Guys like him make me angry because they turn people off to the industry. This asshole took your money and you walked away with something that now you have to pay to get fixed. No offense intended dude, but this looks like shit, especially for what you paid for it.” I am so incredibly impressed with what he has done to it too… I can’t wait to see it all finished. I’m not looking forward to a few months of healing, but the finished product will be well worth it. Besides, I start working on the farm May first so I need to get this taken care of before then. I’ve decided to try and work less. Not do less work, but come in to work for less time. I feel like I’m too much a slave to my job, and I want to escape from the eternal struggle to amass wealth that seems to have a stranglehold on this country. I feel fine about my car, my living situation, my motorcycle, etc. I am about to marry a beautiful and talented woman, and I feel confident that I will be able to do whatever I need to with her help. I would like to spend a lot more time with her… right now it feels like I hardly get to see her at all, and that’s unacceptable to me. This summer we will be working together on the farm, so that’ll be nice. I am looking forward to spending time with her finally. We will also both have Sunday off, so there will be one day we will be able to spend some quality time together, yay! Current Mood: happy Current Music: ... none ... wow, that's a first (Comment on this)
Monday, April 19th, 2004
11:17 am	Long time since I had the chance to wing ya an e-mail, it’s been pretty insane around here lately. I did finally re-subnet my network, and it worked exactly like I thought it would. Wow, suddenly DNS and DHCP magically began to work again! I was pretty relieved, even though I knew it would fix most of my problems, I still had doubts as to if it would (I always was a paranoid mofo). I think work is finally calming down, so that’s nice… I’m going to be moving these next few weeks though. Teri and I found a house that’s for rent with a garage and a double lot for $270.00 less a month than our apartment with the psycho landlord, and we may have the option to buy it after awhile too, which would be cool. I do want to buy land but I figure it’s going to be a long time before anything I’m interested in will be up for sale (my parent’s neighbors are thinking of selling some land, but not for a few years…) and besides as long as I’m working at the Credit Union the winter commute would suck ass (25 miles of country roads). I saw Kill Bill yesterday because the second one just came out and I was thinking about seeing that, but I wanted to see the first one beforehand. Wow… at first I was pretty turned off by the sheer amount of gore. It was fairly intense. Then I realized that this wasn’t supposed to be an action flick, it’s supposed to be a comedy! (Granted, a DARK comedy, buy a comedy nonetheless.) All the excessive blood and whatever is almost Army of Darkness style, and although the action is well orchestrated, there are always the odd “boing” noises when someone’s sword sticks into the wall etc. After that, I felt much better about the whole thing. I think I need to watch it a second time with that in mind, I would probably enjoy it a lot more. Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: Stop Fucking With My Head (Comment on this)
Friday, April 16th, 2004
1:49 pm	HELP! Well, I sure wish I knew girls better… I know Teri is having some sort of problems, but she doesn’t want help. The most outward signs are that she keeps having back pain and an upset stomach (not actually sick, just pain I guess). I think she’s stressing about something, but I don’t know what and she won’t go to the doctor… she has had eczema on her forearms for about 2 months now but refuses to go to a dermatologist. And it’s not getting any better either. I just don’t get it. We have money for her to go to the doctor, but she wants to wait until she has insurance… but who the hell knows when that will be? At the latest it will be after August when we will be married and she will be on my medical plan from work. I don’t know why she would go through all the trouble to set something different up before then… Part of the frustrating thing is that I’m trying not to ‘push help’ on people. I really need to get out of the superhero/knight in shining armor mode. However, it becomes my problem when she can’t sleep (which means I don’t sleep), is in pain all the time and wants to tell me about it, but not let me help! It drives me insane to see someone I love do this to herself! Why won’t she let anyone do anything for her? What the fuck can I do to help? On top of this all, she is obsessing about being overweight (which she is NOT) and I worry that she is going about loosing weight the wrong way… that’s her own deal of course, but I worry anyway. All I can think to do in that situation is keep telling her she’s beautiful every chance I get… but that doesn’t help if she isn’t comfortable with herself does it? What can I do? Current Mood: confused Current Music: Random metal (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
5:08 pm	'Cause littlesailor asked me to... I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to copy and paste this in your journal, allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything. Feel free to post anonymously if you wish. Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Darkness (Comment on this)
Monday, April 12th, 2004
4:38 pm	more bad poetry... Early morning light Sliding gently over your curves Soft hairs glow, almost seeming to have illumination of their own Leaves lean toward the window Drinking in the radiance of the sun Rejoicing in the blessings of life Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Napalm Death (Comment on this)
3:40 pm	random I saw ‘The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” this weekend. It was very enjoyable. The most interesting thing for me was the people watching though, because I had most of the film figured out within the first 15 or so minutes (not that I wasn’t surprised by some of the twists). Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I don’t enjoy so many movies… I overanalyze everything, takes the shiny off an otherwise enjoyable experience. The only time it’s fun is when you are with another annoying person and the two of you can sit and bet about who is right about what’s going to happen next… anyway I liked the movie and enjoyed watching the stupid boys sitting in front of me with their girls pretend that they weren’t emotionally moved by it after the lights came back on… why do most men feel the need to not be emotional? I bet any one of them would have been able to have a wonderful discussion with those girls (and had a much better chance at getting some) if they had just opened up even a tiny little bit! Instead, the most common comment I heard from them was ‘Dude, that was a fucked up movie.’ Really insightful guys… you know, life is so much more enjoyable when you don’t worry about what people think so much. Or even if you do worry about other’s opinions, at least don’t let that effect your every action. Otherwise you run the risk of being a boring boring person, and that’s worse than being dead in my opinion. I also hung out with family on Easter. I love my extended family, but only when there’s a couple of them at a time. My close family and I get along just fine, but sometimes I think my aunts can build on each other and form the Voltron of dysfunction. I can almost hear the three of them saying things like ‘Form Power-sword’ as they embark on yet another session of ex-husband bashing, or inter-familial gossip sniping. However, if I can pry them apart (or just invite one of them over at a time) they are quite enjoyable, and in fact brilliant conversationalists. I have decided to invite them to lunch some time… at different times of course… because I really enjoyed talking with Lisa yesterday. Without the other two there, she was a different person! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: 3 Minute Hero (2 Comments |Comment on this)